I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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