jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Randomize