Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
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some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
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Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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