it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize