He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
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how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
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I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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