her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize