feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize