Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize