I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize