mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize