Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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