woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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