dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize