I'm so fucking centered right now
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
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