What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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