I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize