someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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