yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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