The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize