no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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