you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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