Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
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Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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