What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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