I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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