if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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