if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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