Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize