Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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