After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize