It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize