I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
it's like iHOP with fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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