how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize