I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize