areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize