"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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