I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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