I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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