I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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