Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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