She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
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This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
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I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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