i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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