Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...

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(313): Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends... http://tfl.nu/38n2

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(573): View more from Missouri

My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.

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(573): My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly. http://tfl.nu/go2x

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(708): View more from Illinois

sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed

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(708): sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed http://tfl.nu/38z7

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.

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(615): Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night. http://tfl.nu/na81

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut

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(215): i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut http://tfl.nu/7c6t

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(240): View more from Maryland

I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...

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(240): I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette... http://tfl.nu/tjl0

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .

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(+44): Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning . http://tfl.nu/qry6

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(518): View more from New York

I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.

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(518): I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how. http://tfl.nu/ue8l

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(716): View more from New York

Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.

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(716): Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug. http://tfl.nu/908k

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(512): View more from Texas

There are so many Jimmy John's employees here

(1-512): View more from Texas

Where are you?

(512): View more from Texas

Jimmy John's.

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(512): There are so many Jimmy John's employees here (1-512): Where are you? (512): Jimmy John's. http://tfl.nu/2l3c

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(408): View more from California

After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.

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(408): After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex. http://tfl.nu/hxmy

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(078): View more from

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!

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(078): Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?! http://tfl.nu/fofo

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(303): View more from Colorado

I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover

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(303): I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover http://tfl.nu/1e3z

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.

(1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

Not the worst first impression I've experienced.

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(724): Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face. (1-724): Not the worst first impression I've experienced. http://tfl.nu/reln

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I think I just cured my dogs munchies

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(908): I think I just cured my dogs munchies http://tfl.nu/38nb

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