hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
grandma shit on top of the toilet
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize