you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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