Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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