So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize