if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i've created a new STD.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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