the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize