No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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