I will die if light touches me.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize